Ray Of Lights in The Darkness
by Mrs.Scarlettbutler
Summary: Scully awakes in a hospital bed in 2003 with amnesia, her last memory is walking down to the basement in FBI to meet her new partner.
1. Chapter 1

Ray Of Lights In The Darkness

Chinook Regional Hospital

Lethbrigde, Canada.

August 24th 2003

She was swimming in a lake, the water was so warm and refreshing and her body felt so blissful weightless, and it made her feel so merciful free. Certain her body could and would carry her on top of the water eternally, if she wanted to, she swam without direction or marking. She was free and felt like a fish in the water.

Suddenly, a dark cloud covered the sun and left her blind to the surroundings, the sudden increase of her breathing frightened her, it was so difficult to take air into her lungs, and the heavy burden she swiftly felt on her chest was worsening her breathing difficulties. A weak echo of a voice was playing in her ears, too frail for her to recognise, the voice left her with confusion and an oddly fear. A small brush of warmth lingered on her lips for a while, before the sun finally won the fight with the cloud and bathed the lake in its warm rays of light and warmth.

Shaking her head to clear her vision, she stared first to one side than to the other, the sight was the same on both sides; endless water. There was no shore anywhere in reach and no boat, she was truly free. For a brief moment the thought sadden her, and a heavy feeling of loss in her heart shot through her body like an electric current, and her body stiffened in grief, and she started to sink under water. Her body was becoming so heavy and careless, all she wanted was to give in to the dark and disappear. But just as suddenly, the heaviness disappeared and her body became weightless and her mind empty again, for the shortest moment a deeper sense of loss indulged her body and mind, until she gave in to the ignorant bliss. She was truly free.

With a deep sigh Mulder withdraw his lips from the petite person in the large hospital bed, when he closed his eyes and gently locked his lips with Scully's soft but still lips, he could almost pretend that she was just sleeping, but only almost. The dominant part of his brain wouldn't let him find peace for just one second, always insisting the truth was better than being kept in the darkness, but was it, really? He wasn't so sure anymore.

She was so beautiful as she lay there, so perfect in her petite being, if he didn't know this amazingly strong person in the bed before him, he would assume she was fragile. But she was anything but fragile, she was the strongest and most independent woman he had ever met and he found it enchanting.

With a last sigh, he removed his hand from its position right above her heart and bringing his hands to his face, he stoke his eyelids tiredly for a few seconds, when finished with the effortlessly task, he finally got up from the chair and acknowledged the person standing in the door.

"Mr. Mulder?"

Rarely was he called Mr. Mulder, often agent Mulder or just Mulder, this new status of theirs would take some time to get used to. "Yes," he replied with a tense and tired voice.

"I would like to have a word with you." When Mulder didn't move the man became more serious, "in private, Mr. Mulder."

Unwilling to leave her side, Mulder looked down on the person in the bed, fearing she would slip away, if he left her for just the briefest time, and his hand flew to her soft auburn hair. He loved how it lingered on his fingers for a long time, like it did now that she had let it grow. He looked forward to see how long she would want her hair. The length gave her face a more feminine and softer glow, and he loved it.

"She will be all right for a few minutes on her own, nurse Johnson will sit with her."

In the water Scully felt a breeze caressing her hair lightly, the feeling awoke another feeling in her but unable to catch the meaning behind it, she was overwhelmed with confusion. The confusion disturbed her ability to swim and again her body became heavy, but just before fear was taking over, she saw a hand with long fingers entangled in her hair and her heart filled with longing. But just as fast as the longing set in it was gone, and the memory disappeared with it. This time she was with a sense of deep regret.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Mulder whispered under his breath, before he turned away from her and walked towards the doctor.

"Excuse me, Mr. Mulder?"

Twisting his mouth in remorse, Mulder said. "It was nothing." Speeding up his pace Mulder followed the doctor closely, he wanted to get back to her as soon as possible, and hadn't time for a lazy walk. Thankfully, the doctor understood or just disliked to be breathed into his neck, whatever his reason was, he intensified his pace.

The small office they stepped into was sparsely furnished and no papers was spread around the desk or cabinets, it was a very sterile and organised place, and the white walls

gave the room a coldness that was intimidating. This was a place where bad news was delivered often and in a mannered way, no deep feelings were allowed to enter this office, he guessed. Mulder directed his attention to the man before him doctor Merse was as emotionless as his office.

"Please take a seat," with his right hand the doctor let Mulder understand which chair, he wanted Mulder to sit in. Obeying, Mulder lowered his tall body into the chair, "why isn't she coming to?"

"We don't know Mr. Mulder, Ms. Scully experienced a head injury but not a severe one according to the MRI scanning. There is no brain damage or bleeding, neither external nor internal. Her vitals are fine and she is in excellent shape despite her condition, everything is fine."

"But she has been in this coma for twelve hours, so apparently everything is not fine!" Mulder was more exhausted than angry, the anger had rushed trough his body twelve hours ago and stayed there for hours until worry and depression replaced the anger. Anger only fed on adrenalin not fear when it was mixed with exhaustion. He still feared the worse but anger would draw him away from her in an attempt of finding revenge, and neither of them needed that now, his time with her was precious and he knew his disability to live without her. Revenge was a small and fleeting relief to find and her life too important to seek it.

"We expect her to come out of her coma any minute. I'm just wondering if there is anything important to her past or condition you haven't told us. The FBI has sealed her medical records and Ad Skinner has forced us to name her Mrs. Kate Moore and you Miles Moore, and we are not allowed to mention her condition at all. I'm under the impression that you are under some witness protection programme…?"

Scully hadn't got to choose their names this time like he had promised her the last time they worked undercover, how she had hated their names and the whole undercover situation. It seemed ages ago and strangely irrelevant to their present situation, their names were as meaningless, but irrelevant thoughts kept popping up in his head for the last twelve hours. It was not unusual when a person was dealing with a stressful and traumatic ordeal, he knew that with his Oxford education, but still it surprised him.

Getting no answer doctor Merse folded his hands, "we'll just have to give Ms. Scully some time. Don't you worry Mr. Mulder."

'Don't you worry' the words echoed in Mulder's head, how could he not worry? He loved her for Christ sake! Worry came with love, and yet he had to discover a button to switch off, when it came to worrying about Dana Scully, not that he wanted to find it, knowing perfectly well if he did find it, it would mean his love had died or that she had. Their love was all he had, all he wanted.

Ignoring the doctor Mulder got up from the chair again, he had no answer to give the man and no desire to try; the poor man would be overwhelmed if he knew Scully's past and demons. Their demons. Abruptly and strong despair washed in over Mulder and feeling he was deeply needed, he ran out of the door and didn't stop before he was bending over Scully. Grabbing her hand, he felt how far away she had gone in the few minutes he was away, her hand was colder and her skin paler.


	2. Chapter 2

Ray Of Lights In The Darkness

Disclaimer: Don't owe them, never had never will.

Chapter two

Coming back

Scully was floating in the water, drifting farther and farther away from any sign of a bay or shore , her mind was becoming as light as her body, and she was beginning to forget about gentle fingers caressing her. They were becoming a faint memory not belonging to her anymore. Slowly the sun was sinking into the water and a beautiful orange full moon was shining down on her, giving the water a dark and peaceful glow, nothing was wrong in this world. Her sanctuary was disrupted by a pressure on her right hand, puzzled, she turned her eyes away from the moon and to her hand, finding nothing there she was about to bring her focus back to the beautiful orange moon, when she without warning saw a hand with long fingers covering her left hand. The image was blurry and she couldn't see the hand clearly, but the sudden longing in her heart and the vision frightened her, what did it want from her? Suddenly a weedy voice whispered into her ear. "Don't leave me, Scully. Please."

Everything went black and a powerful forced pulled her out of the water and into a black nothing. She didn't feel anything and wanted nothing, she just waited.

"Scully, I need you. Please." The voice begged again, this time it cracked an opening of light into the darkness surrounding her, looking at the tunnel of light she lingered. "Scully!" The intensity of her name being spoken pulled her body fast towards the tunnel and through it. There was no pain and no thoughts, just a willingness to follow the voice and light.

When she was pushed out of the tunnel forcefully, her eyes shot opened instantly, the first thing coming into view was a face full of anguish. A man's eyes were watching her face closely, and she saw how surprise and then joy replaced the anguish in his eyes.

"Scully!" The voice repeated but this time it was strong and intense.

Licking the corner of her mouth, she pushed her head hard back against the pillow, "who are you?" As soon as the words left her mouth she saw the joy in his warm eyes die, instead they were filled with chock and a deep, deep sorrow.

"Scully?" The man whispered tryingly, not knowing what to say, she just stared at him blankly, she had no clue of who he was, but she was drawn to his eyes.

"It's me, Scully. Mulder."

Shaking her head, she asked, "why are you calling me, Scully?" Nobody close to her was addressing her by her last name, when he just stared dumfounded at her she guessed, "you are my new FBI partner? I remember I was assigned to a new partner."

"Yeah, I'm your partner." His mouth twisted in something resembling a smile.

"Oh, you must be Fox Mulder then." Lifting her hand, she reached it out in a greeting gesture, expecting him to shake her hand, when he didn't she looked behind him and took in the room. "Where am I?"

Feeling his heart sinking for every word Scully spoke Mulder tried to stay calm, her eyes bore the same innocence they had, when he had first met her. If he didn't know better she was the Dana Scully who walked into his office ten years ago, she even looked as young. With a broken voice, he decided to answer her question.

"You're at the Chinook Regional Hospital in Canada with a minor head injury."

"Canada?" Her full attention was back on him, "what am I doing in Canada?" The man, her partner, returned none of her question but just kept staring at her brokenly. Feeling a familiar impatience entering her mind, Scully pushed her body upward, she felt awkward lying down in front of a man she had never met before and oddly vulnerable. Before she had the chance to move Mulder gently tugged her shoulder's down.

"Take it slowly, Scully. I'll reposition the bed for you, just relax. You've to be careful."

"Why on earth do I need to be careful, I'm just suffering from a minor head injury you said and my head doesn't even hurt. I'm fine, you know."

"Just humour me, Scully." The man said. As promised Mulder raised he bed for her and now sitting in an upward position, Scully looked down at her body. Her mouth opened in a silent 'O' and her face paled visibly, slowly, she moved her hand to rest against her belly. It was heavily swollen, a movement underneath her hand surprised her, and her eyes flew to Mulder's.

"What is this?" As a medical doctor she knew her so called condition all too well, but as a woman she was ignorant, she couldn't remember being pregnant.

"Um, you're pregnant, Scully." He saw the raw fear in her eyes and his heart bled for her, he wanted to take her into his arms and rock her like a child, while he chanted to her that everything was ok and that he was there for her, all the way. But to her he was a stranger and her world was falling apart, maybe he would destroy her, if he followed his heart.

She noticed the quick flicker of happiness in his eyes before she cried, "oh no, not Ethan. Please don't tell me he's the father." She had no desire to be bound to Ethan forever with a child and she had been careful, children belonged to the future.

"No, no! Ethan is not father!" Mulder assured her.

"Then who is?" Dana wondered, she wasn't sleeping around, this was all too confusing. "How long was I out?" She had no recollection of being pregnant or being introduced to Fox Mulder. Tears stung in her eyes but she refused to break down and cry, there wasn't time for that now, and she didn't know Fox Mulder well enough to cry in front of him, besides that he looked devastated enough for them both.

Opening and closing his mouth for a few times, Mulder finally found his tongue, "let me find the doctor." And before she could object he was out of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Can't lay any claim on the X-Files or Scully and Mulder – they belong to others.

Thanks for all my wonderful reviews – I love 'em.

Chapter three

New partners

Completely alone Dana closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself. She wasn't as calm as she pretended to be. Her hands came to rest on her abdomen and the tears finally fell. She felt so utterly alone, confused and frightened. Weakness wasn't a strong virtue of hers and she hated to be kept in the blind, ironically her mind was blinding her, locking her out of her life. A kick stilled her thoughts, the baby was moving against her hands, her first reaction was to move them away from the baby, but before she could react a rush of love filled her. She loved her baby!

The realisation stopped the tears, she wasn't alone. She was carrying a small being inside of her and no matter what had happened to her, or who the father was, Dana loved her baby. And with the fullness of her abdomen she couldn't deny the fact that she was pregnant, but how had it happened? The last thing she remembered was that she was on her way down the FBI corridors to report to her new partner, Fox Mulder, according to the size of her stomach that must be close to six months ago, had she been unconscious for so many months, and where was her mother and father? Why was her new partner here and why did he care? The questions spun around in her mind.

The sound of footsteps outside her room made her look up and instantly she met the eyes of Fox Mulder rushing into her room with a doctor in tow. Seeing how gentle and warm Fox Mulder's eyes became when he noticed the wetness in her eyes, and her hands affectionately protecting her belly, Dana's heart slowed down and her body relaxed. Licking her upper lip, she wondered why he was affecting her this way. Breaking the eye contact her sight glided to the doctor, now standing in the end of her bed.

"Ms. Scully, you finally decided to come around. How are you feeling?" The doctor's eyes studied her closely.

"I'm fine." Pausing she lowered her head slightly, "but I seem to have lost five or six months. How long was I in a coma doctor…?"

Stepping closer, the doctor looked tensed, "Merse, doctor Merse. You were in a coma for close to thirteen hours, can't you remember being pregnant?"

"No." Dana quietly stated. Thirteen hours wasn't long enough for her to be unaware of her condition.

"Please tell me your full name Ms. Scully."

"I rather she didn't doctor Merse." Mulder broke in before she could answer.

"Ohm, very well. Do you know what year we are in Ms. Scully and where you are?"

Looking at her hands Dana felt grateful, when she felt a hand squeezing her right shoulder gently, her body reacted to Fox Mulder in a soothing way whenever he was near. "1993 and Fox told me we're in Canada." She sensed the tension in Fox's body when she answered the doctor.

"Err, 1993 you say, Ms. Scully, but actually the year is 2003."

In pure shock Dana threw the blanket aside and swung her feet out of the bed, "2003! This can't be!" Two strong arms held her back before she pushed her body away from the bed.

"Scully"

The pleading in his voice stilled her; he was worried for her and her baby. Touched by the caring in his word, she relaxed and stayed in the bed. Fox let go of her arms and moved around the bed and in front of her. He bowed down until he was at eyes level with her, the intensity of his stare and the pain she found in it touched her deeply.

"Please be careful, Scully." She allowed him to swing her feet back into the bed and silently watched him as he covered her with the blanket, his hands brushed gently against her abdomen, lingering for a few more moments than necessary. If it was accidentally or intentionally, she couldn't tell but unexpectedly his touch felt pleasant and calming. He wasn't taking liberties or invading her space, it was odd that she felt a bond to this stranger she didn't even share with Ethan or any former boyfriends.

"What is the last thing you remember, Scully?" His eyes never left hers.

"Walking down to the basement corridor, I had just been assigned to The X-Files." She stated in a low voice.

"Scully, that was ten years ago."

Her eyes widened in disbelief, "but it can't be, Fox. I would remember, I would remember my life."

"I'm sorry, but it's true. We have been partners for ten years now."

Still unable to believe him, Dana closed her eyes in exhaustion. So Fox Mulder wasn't a stranger, it explained a lot but the tenderness in him, he cared more than a normal partner did.

"Mr. Mulder will you step outside for a moment, please?" Doctor Merse interrupted the partners.

Dana fixed her piercing blue eyes on the doctor, "what you have to say about me you can said to my face, I'm a medical doctor and want to know the truth about my health." Releasing her hand from Fox's Dana leaned back into the bed. Her bed moved slightly when Fox moved away and took a seat in the chair next to her.

"I'm a little worried by the fact that you don't remember the last ten years Ms. Scully, it indicates that you suffer from post- traumatic amnesia which is generally due to a head injury, yours were minor and therefore, it wouldn't normally be followed by coma or amnesia. You should know that traumatic amnesia is often transient, and in your case I guess your memory will return. I haven't detected any brain damages or neurological changes."

"Good, but you're not sure when my memory will return or why I lost it?" Dana asked in her most serious voice.

"No, I will send my colleague doctor Hansen up to you as soon as possible, he's a specialist in cases involving amnesia. All I know about amnesia is that it's not advisable to feed a person with too many pieces of information about her life too fast, it must be done in a slow and careful way. "

Fixing her stare at the doctor, Dana looked sceptically, "I'll like to see my journal."

"That can be arranged, I'm sure. Doctor Hansen can bring it to you."

"I would like to se it right away doctor Merse, I'm sure you understand my request."

"Very well, Mr. Mulder can get it for you."

"Thank you." Scully offered in a cold tone of voice, she was used to fight for, what men often was simply offered; it came with being a woman in a man's world. Her thoughts turned inward as Mulder and the doctor left her room, something wasn't right. There was something they didn't tell her, had she been working on a case? Of course she had otherwise Fox wouldn't be here. Her hands landed softly on her abdomen, a dear life inside of her.

Before long Fox Mulder returned with her journal and looking up she met his tense stare, "there is something I need to tell you, Scully. We were working undercover on a case, a sensitive case only a few people knows about, the name you work under is Kate Moore." With another tense look he gave her the journal.

It didn't take long to read the thin journal, which only consisted of a few pages. "Well, my pregnancy isn't mentioned with one word and there is no personal information, why?"

"They have been sealed by Skinner, it is important that no one knows we're here or that you are pregnant". Locking eyes with him, she tried to gauge his sincerity and analyze the few pieces of information.

"I suffered a mild hit at my right temple and went into unconsciousness right away, when I arrived at the hospital I had slipped into a coma. My MRI shows no damages or changes in my brain. There is no logical reason why my memory is gone. I wonder why I choose to erase all until before 1993. At least I should remember my child's father. From your earlier statement, I guess I'm not together with Ethan anymore."

"No, that relationship ended after our first case in Oregon in 1993 – I'll tell you more when I've got a clearance from the doctors, ok?"

Sighing, she resultantly agreed, "just tell me, do you know the father of my baby?"

Giving her a sad glance, he quietly answered, "I know him well enough. Please rest for a while, Scully."

"Why are you calling me Scully? It's weird that you don't use my first name, Fox." Again she watched him flinch.

"Huh, please call me Mulder. We've always used our last names, you are Scully to me. I wouldn't want to change that."

With another sigh Dana lean back against the bed, she was still sitting and had no desire to rest, she wanted some answers. "How far along am I?"

Moving the chair closer to her bed Mulder sat down into the now familiar chair, it had been his home for the past thirteen hours. "You are in the sixth month, the 28th week, I think."

"Thank you."

"No big deal." He avoided her question filled eyes.

"You seem to know a lot about me?"

It wasn't like Scully to give up this easily and he just wondered how long he could avoid telling her the truth. "I do, we are partners, have been for 10 years. We've to be close and trust each other in our line of work. You told me once how important trust is."

Sensing there was more to his sadden demur than a simple injury of a partner, she studied him for a while. He was handsome, not in a dashing manner, but in a more honest way, and she liked his soulful eyes. She was certain his heart was to be found in the depths of his eyes, he seemed so intense in his feelings, and seemed to care a great deal about her. Without knowing him she trusted him, he wanted to protect her - she could only hope she was right.

"What exactly do we do agent Mulder, the X-Files is about unexplained cases?" Remembering his nickname at the academy, she smiled. Spookey, the name suited him ill, he was passionate she could tell but not a weirdo.

"Why are you smiling, Scully?"

Shaking her head she smiled at him, "it's nothing, just a memory from the academy. Tell me about our work, Mulder."

He returned her smile with a new spark of joy in his eyes, "we worked… work on the

X-Files, we've solved a lot of unexplainable cases and some we haven't solved. We are highly unwanted by the FBI and our colleagues make fun of us but we like what we do… and we got…"

"What do we got, Mulder?"

"A loyal partner we can trust."

His words were so double meaning that every word left her with new questions of her situation and the sort of their partnership. "You make our work sound so unrewarding?"

"Oh, it's not. Looking for the truth is never unrewarding, it just that we have paid a lot for all the answers we found… you should rest, it will be good for you." Both turned silent and Mulder avoided Scully's intense eyes filled with unasked questions.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: They're not mine… they were created by another brilliant mind.

Thanks for reading my little story.

Chapter four

Worries

Half an hour later the door opened silently, both agents attentions turned to the door immediately. A tall, ball man stepped into the room on light toes, a pair of glasses covered his worried brown eyes. He wasn't a bad looking man but Dana couldn't place him anywhere, and he didn't look like a doctor.

"Scully, Mulder." The man offered quietly.

Jumping up from the chair Mulder was a big smile, "Skinner, damn good to see you."

"Good to see you too, I got your massage and came as soon as I could. How are you Scully?"

"Fine, Sir." The man looked like he could be from the FBI and she guessed he was from Mulder's reaction.

"Good." Returning to Mulder the man continued, "I take it that the situation is still the same?" Seeing Mulder nodding the man looked more worried, "you need to get out of here, the situation is already questionable, soon words will be out about this mess. I don't know how much of his confidential oak Merse remembers, my guess is not much, when he's faced with a little pressure. I've a rental car outside it will take you to a small cabin up in the Rockies. A specialist in amnesia will be waiting in the nearest larger city if you will need him. Are you to able to walk Scully?"

Turning his head to Scully, the man kept a part of his attention on Mulder like he wouldn't trust her answer, if Mulder disagreed with her. "I'm fully capable of walking on my feet, Sir." After a pause Mulder nodded his head in agreement though he looked doubting.

"Good. Good, I'll wait outside while you get ready."

Scully waited for Mulder to leave the room as well, in order to give her some privacy to find her own clothes and change into them, and, as expected he got up, but only to open the drawer and pulling her clothes out. Annoyed she stayed in bed, raising her eyebrow she studied how naturally Mulder handled her stuff, even her underwear.

"Agent Mulder, I can manage on my own, if you will excuse me!"

Confusion flashed his eyes when he turned to look at her, "just let me help you, Scully." Seeing the confusion in her eyes, he stopped, "I've done it before, so have you when I needed help."

"That may be, agent Mulder, but I would like to be alone." She hated the pang of hurt she saw in his eyes, but he was a stranger to her, and further more her body was a stranger to her too, she needed to be alone when she saw her naked pregnant body for the first time. She couldn't help but feel nervous, had it changed a lot? Some women gained a lot of weight while pregnant. If she was big she wouldn't want agent Mulder to see her in all her glory, no matter how caring he was. Mercifully, she didn't feel fat but she could be fooled by her own denial.

Backing away Mulder followed her request and left her room after a worried glance in her direction.

Carefully, Dana threw the blanket aside and after taking a deep breath she lowered her eyes to examine her body, except from her swollen belly she looked ok, of course, she had gained a little weight but nothing to be alarmed about. Grateful, she lowered her feet to the floor and took a hesitant step into the room, her feet were steady and no pain in her head or abdomen. She was fine. Speeding up her pace, she gathered her clothes in her hands and retreated to the bathroom.

Standing before the small mirror above the sink, Dana turned intense eyes to her face. Her own eyes met her, the reflection left her breathless, her eyes bore the innocent she remembered, but behind it she saw the glimmer of a more mature nature in her. In the shadows she found a woman who had suffered, a woman who knew about the dark side of life, and she was confused. Who was this unknown woman who had been injured on a case and left alone with a partner, she couldn't remember and impregnated by an unknown man? Her hair had changed, she liked it, and she liked how age had handled her.

Unable to see the rest of her figure in the mirror, Dana stripped and got into her own clothes, a green cotton t-shirt and the same colour cardigan.

Her black cotton jeans felt comfortable against her stomach and had a nice cut, and she felt confident they looked nice on her. Feeling better in her in her clothes, she brushed her teeth and swallowed a mouthful of water. Checking the room before she left it, she wondered where her other personal things would be, surely she must have carried a driver's license, money and other personal stuff, even if working on a case. Why was she unarmed?

Outside the door she met a pacing agent Mulder, his lower lip slipped out from the grip of his teeth and he stopped in his tracks the moment he saw her, "you okay?" He asked.

"Ten years older and pregnant, but besides the few new wrinkles, I'm fine." Her eyes flickered with amusement. The amusement was passed on to his eyes and for a breathless moment time stood still. "I don't see any wrinkles, Scully." The hurt and sorrow she found in his intense stare confused her, had they been on an edge before her accident?

"No need to sweet talk me, Fox, I'm not a fragile flower just pregnant. No one can escape time, you know there isn't such a thing as a loop in time, and I saw how ten years changed my face. Not that I'm complaining!" Noticing the winch when she called him Fox, Dana tilted her head and studied her partner. "You don't like it when I call you Fox?"

"Well no. Scully, we've to hurry, Skinner told us to leave as fast as we could. He has a car waiting for us in the car park." Slipping his arm around her loin his hand came to rest on the small of her back, the familiarity of his touch confused her, but before she could utter a single word, he pushed her forward.

They stayed silent until they reached the green rental car, the small beep unlocking the doors confirmed it was the right car. "Get in, Scully!" She followed his instruction and buckled up, "where is my weapon, agent Mulder?" She felt naked without her weapon, and the lightness of her hip told her she was used to carry a weapon most of the time.

"In a minute, Scully."

Hearing the tension in his voice, she looked up and saw his head turning from side to side in a clockwise movement, when nothing suspicious caught his eyes, he pushed the car into drive and slowly directed the car to another parked car. "Wait here." He muttered when he stepped out of the car, another beep unlocked another rental car, this time it was black. Removing a few bags agent Mulder locked the car again and opened the backdoor in their new car and threw the bags into the backseat. After opening one of the bags he handed her a weapon, it was not her usual weapon, this was smaller and not so heavy. It would be easier to operate in a tight situation.

Agent Mulder closed the door behind him and moved the car into motion immediately. Closing her eyes for a moment she drifted away.

Hours later she awoke with a startle, "where are we?"

"On the road to British Columbia."

The violent sound from her stomach made them both smile and reaching behind him, agent Mulder pulled out a brown bag, "I bought you a chicken salad, bread, some fruit and the nuts bar you like so much."

"When did we stop?"

"A few miles ago, you slept so soundly I didn't want to wake you. I just bought your favourites."

"Since when did I favour chicken salad?" She had hoped for a burger.

His eyes twisted with laughter, "since you gained a few pounds."

"I did not!" She had never been overweighed in her life

"Yes, you did."

"When!"

"Not long after we were partnered. I never knew why, maybe the stress of your new job, maybe the loneliness coming with it. We never discussed it. You lost the extra weight fast when you decided to, no big deal. Now you like to stay healthy for the baby."

"Of course I do!" She snorted and dogged into the bag, the salad looked tasty and she was very hungry, after spreading the dressing she took her first bite and was surprised, she really liked it. The longing for a burger was gone.

"Why can't I call you Fox, agent Mulder?" She didn't look up from her food.

"Scully, it's just Mulder. You're making me nervous calling me agent Mulder. Well, I never liked my first name and you've always called me Mulder. None of my other…. It just became a habit, a habit I like."

"None of your others what?" She gave him a quick glare, before she focused on her food again.

Biting his lower lip he hesitated, "my other partners," he finally gave in.

"They what? Never got to call you just Mulder?"

"Yeah, something like that." He flatly answered.

"Then I'm the lucky one." She joked, sensing there was more to the story she looked at him. Refusing to meet her eyes he mumbled, "or the unfortunately one."

"I doubt that, after all I've stayed for 10 years, haven't I?" He just nodded. "Mulder?"

Now she looked more closely at him, he seemed oddly serious.

"Sometimes, I wonder, if you wouldn't have been better off and happier if quieting the

X-Files, Scully."

"I wouldn't jeopardise my baby's life so I'm sure it can't be that bad, Mulder. If it was, how on earth would I've had time for a relationship and a baby? Am I married?" The thought just stoke her.

"No, you're not, Scully."

"I see." Turning her head she stared out of the window and chewing on the last bite of fruit she wondered about the person she had become.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: They are not mine – they belong to other people.

Thanks for reviewing – the reviews and personal messages got me to update this story. I'm sorry for my delay in updating – I'll try to update sooner next time. I'll glad to hear what you think of this chapter.

Chapter five

Five hours later, Mulder parked the car outside a small house. Large trees surrounded the ground, and provided a shelter for the small brown painted house; the place was far from the main road which guaranteed, that no strangers would easily stroll by. It was a perfect hiding place.

Mulder stepped out of the car and went to Scully side where he offered her a helpful hand, gratefully, she accepted his help this time. Her back was sore and her legs stiff from sitting in a car for close to nine hours. She took the key from Mulder and unlocked the front door, pleasantly surprised, she walked inside, the place was clean and had all modern facilities. And far better; the refrigerator was loaded with food.

Mulder came inside with their two bags, "not bad, Scully. Not bad at all." He whistled approvingly.

"Yeah, it's far better than the hospital. Are you hungry?" Scully had discovered that with pregnancy came a healthy hunger, her body demanded food and she acknowledged the wise in eating healthy food, and fortunately the kitchen were full of that. Mulder must have had a hand in that, she thought.

"Good, I'll fix us something. I'll unpack my stuff later you can just put the bag on my bed." Without looking at him she unpacked two chicken breasts and ingredients for a salad.

A few minutes later Mulder came back into the kitchen, for some time he just watched her.

"Yes, Mulder?"

"Hum, Scully." Pausing he fidgeted with his belt, "there is only one bedroom."

"Hmm, isn't there a couch?" She wasn't really paying attention to him.

"Yeah, but it's too small for any of us to sleep on it."

Stopping with her preparations, she fixed her eyes on him, "oh!" The odd grief was back in his eyes when she paused in talking, it puzzled her. Taking his appearances in, she fond him very attractive, he was lean and his eyes gentle.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" The words came out loud and clear, it had not been her intention. When she saw his discomfort she hasty added, "it's none of my business, you don't have to answer. Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm involved with a beautiful woman, but things are not easy between us, right now. I'll sleep on the floor." He turned and left the kitchen.

His answer sadden her, unsure why, she caressed her abdomen, she was clearly involved with a man so she had no right to feel betrayed by Mulder's short answer. Calmed by the sweet kicking of her baby Scully pushed her thoughts away, hopefully, she would soon remember and return to her normal life. It would never do to get emotional involved with a partner again, Jack had taught her well.

"Mulder, will you set the table." She yelled, before she focused on making a heavy salad.

Half an hour later Scully lowered her body into one of the chairs around the small diner table, the house was obviously built for only two persons. Maybe a couple without children or maybe it was a get away for two romantically involved persons, who wanted to avoid curious eyes. Now it was her and her partner's home for an unknown time.

"How long will we stay here?"

"I don't know, hopefully until you've recovered your memory, Scully."

"But that can take from a day to a few months. Won't we be missed? Won't your girlfriend mind?" Suddenly, she remembered she was in a relationship as well, strangely how little she thought about it and how much she thought about her partner. "Won't my… umm, boyfriend misses me?"

Raising his eyes from his plate, Mulder stroke his forehead tiredly, "I think we will be fine, we are often gone for longer periods of time. Everyone we know is used to that, they won't report us missing and Skinner will take care of things."

Sensing his tiredness and the discomfort underneath his caring, she wondered why he stayed with her. Wondered is he wanted to be elsewhere, wanted to be with someone else instead of her. Wondered if she was a burden to him? Her heart sank with the thoughts, she felt peculiarly safe around him and felt by instinct that he was trustworthy.

Her mouth became dry, but she had to know. "But is must be hard on you to be forced to take care of me?"

Briefly, he met her stare, "no bother at all. I'm where I want to be." Slowly he began to eat.

Relief washed over her. "It must be a bizarrely relationships we have." Scully muttered under her breath, louder she said, "Do you always call our boss Skinner?"

Grinning Mulder straightened his body a little, "it's not! Yeah, Skinner is a good friend. He has saved us asses on numerous times over the years. He often calls you Dana, we are on friendly terms with him. He has become very protective about you."

"Why?" It was annoying not to know anything about her life in the past ten years, or know the important persons in her life anymore.

Carefully Mulder chewed on a piece of chicken, "well, the nature of our cases has separated us from time to time, and I guess that Skinner feels partly responsible. And he respects you very much as a person and for the work you do."

Again she felt he was holding pieces of information back for her. "The nature of our work, what kind of nature is that? And how were we separated?"

"Our work is complex and involves paranormal issues. We have gotten some enemies over the years who would like to see the backs of us, and who knows we're strongest together."

His words were so well balanced, lifting her eyebrow, she stated, "paranormal, I don't believe in such things. You do know that everything can be explained scientifically, don't you?"

"So you told me ten years ago!" His smile reached his eyes this time, and lit his face up. Her eyes were glued to his. "And it never changed, I guess." She was sure of his answer.

"It did!" The smile faded from his face and the sadness replaced it. Surprised, she studied him, "you must be kidding me, Mulder. It's not logical that paranormal events can't be explained, people are cheating to get attention. Some may even believe in their lies but science will prove them wrong."

"Scully, we have had this conversation so many times over the years…" The smirk on his face gave away how much he enjoyed her answer.

Scully's temper rose slightly, "I bet we have!" her jaw was set in determination, "paranormal my ass, it's just a cheap way to explain deceit and games."

Mulder's body stiffened and he sat right upward in his chair as he held his head high, "so I guess this means you don't believe in extraterrestrials, Scully?"

Her head bolted up from the food and the fog stopped in midair, "Mulder, look at the facts, it would take them millions of years to travel here, it's impossible and why would they come, anyway. There may be life forces out there but they don't visit earth!"

The stories about Mulder had lived vividly on the academy, assuming the stories grew by time because everyone added to them, she had always laughed of the stories, but never quiet believed that Mulder was a true believer, but staring into her partner's intense eyes, she had to re-evaluate her presumption.

"Mulder, you do believe in them?"

His honest look was a bit unnerving, "the truth can't be denied, Scully. Science can't explain everything."

Disbelief rushed through her mind and sinking back into the chair Scully stroke her eyelids with her left hand. Licking the corner of her mouth her mind worked on overload, it couldn't be! "I've spent 10 years chasing aliens?"

Mulder leaned back too, the smirk had left his face and was replaced by the odd hurt in his eyes. "It's not the only thing you've done for ten years. You make it sound as a burden and unwanted like we… you've wasted 10 years."

"What else have I done?" She was angry it had never been her dream to chase aliens with an insane partner, she had joined the FBI to make a difference, not to be a nutcase. What would her father think? He had resented her decision to work for the FBI. Paling on the outside by the thought of her father, Ahab, the anger boiled on the inside.

"What else have I done, Mulder?"

"Huh, we've been looking for my sister."

The anger subsided, "did we find her?"

The answer to her question came almost as a whisper, "no."

Fixing her hot stare at him, she repeated, "no?"

Mulder bowed his head a little and sank further into the chair, "she's death." Waiting for an explanation she stayed quiet. "She was abducted by aliens when she was 8."

Scully's anger came back on full force, red and ugly, leaning forward in the chair she coldly stated. "Aliens! I don't believe this. This is not happening to me!" Watching how Mulder's eyes became dull, his body became soft in the chair and how his face closed, but the devilish anger blinded her mind and left her unable to see past her deep sense of hurt, confusion and disbelief. All the feelings came together in hot anger. She had wasted a good damn of years on something so foolish as aliens! No matter how nice Mulder was he wasn't worth this."

With a last glance in his direction she got up from her chair, taking a few seconds to become steady on her feet and fighting a brief wave of dizziness, she lingered a few moments before she took her plate with food and went into the kitchen. Standing beside the stove she looked out of the window, her appetite was gone and looking down on her plate she frowned, but her better sense won and reluctantly she took another bite of the chicken. There was another life to consider now, and she never shied away from responsibilities, at least she hadn't before. What kind of a person she was now was on the other hand a mystery.

With each mouthful of food some of her anger vanished and left a deep feeling of sorrow and loss, the food grew in her mouth and became impossible to chew, tears filled her eyes and her breathing became hollow. Chewing harder, Scully tried to fight back the tears but to no avail, they kept coming and soon steamed down her cheeks and wetted her face, and the lump in her throat grew. It was becoming unattainable to sink and choking on food and tears she walked the few steps to the garbage can, and spit the ball of food out.

It didn't stop the tears, on the contrary they came by tenfold now and she was choking to hide her sops, embarrassed Mulder would hear her crying. Suddenly afraid he would find her weak and foolish. Hearing the vague sounds of a chair being pushed away from the table and a few hesitant footsteps coming closer to the kitchen door, she covered her mouth with both hands and stood very still.

"Scully?" Mulder called quietly to her.

Wanting to be left alone to process all the changes in her life she kept quiet, waiting a long moment for her answer he obvious gave up and walked away from the kitchen. "I need some air. I'll be back soon." He called with his back to her.

Relieved she removed her hands from her mouth. Finally alone! A break from keeping a façade up and play the brave FBI agent, with tear blinded eyes, Scully stumbled the short distance to the bedroom, her normal strong position was totally gone for the moment. Never had she felt so utterly alone and weak – it was frightening not to remember anything about the last ten years of her life.

A revolting suspicion played in the back of her head, as a medical doctor she had learned of cases where the patient preferred to block all remembrance of violent or unpleasant evidences in his or her live, was her own life so terrible that it was easier to forget, had she become such a coward? She hoped not. It would be worse than chasing aliens.

Why would FBI support a fruitless hunt of aliens or paranormal activities without any proofs? It didn't make sense.

Curling into a ball on the bed all her frustrations came out in heavy sobs and steams of tears, she cried like she hadn't cried since she was a little girl. Her body was shaking from head to toe and the repulsive sounds coming from her sounded like cries from wild animals. She was crying for far more than losing her memory, the tears pent up for years and only now did she allow them to fall.

When the pain faded, the tears decreased and the sorrow was replaced by an ugly self-pity but refusing to acknowledge it, she dried her face with her hands and pulled herself together, it was below her dignity to fall into the clammy hands of feeling sorry for herself, it would help no one.

Resting her hand on the top of her unborn child Scully found a new strength, the thought of children had never really crossed her mind before, but feeling a deep connection with her baby, she doubted that this child was unwanted. Everything was a clouded and a mess right now but her love for her baby.

Turning onto her back, she eyed the two bags Mulder had fetched in the other rental car, they were on the bed and one of them must contain keys to her life, nervous hands reaching out and unzipped the first bag. It was navy blue and of average size, looking down into it she saw pieces of clothes for both men and women packed neatly together, with two pair of shoes. Puzzled, she withdrew her hand – it couldn't be her bag. Fast she unzipped the other similar bag next to the one she had already opened, inside was a similar sight; neatly packed clothes for men and women and a sponge bag.

The sponge bag included two toothbrushes, toothpaste, her favourite perfume and lotion, shampoo and toiletries for a man too. Turning away from the toiletries she took a piece of clothes into her hand, it was a green blouse in her size, a blouse she would gladly wear outside the office. It was her blouse she was certain, she obviously shared bags with Mulder, her FBI partner, and for some reason they doubled packed.

Searching the small rooms on the last bag she found a cell phone and staring curiously at it, she realised it was operational, her fingers unlocked the cell phone with familiar movements she didn't have to think about, they had done this before. Scrolling down the contacts she scrolled down her social life, choked she found very few names on the display.

Billy

Contact

Doggett

Mom

Ryes

Skinner

Social M.V

Apprehensive she scrolled down the short list again, where were all her friends and her sister and her dad? Her world couldn't have become this limited could it? At least she would be in contact with her sister, and usually she listed her parents together. Two of the contacts were very strange; contact and social M.V. Bewildered, she continued her search of the bags. She found a small leather album decorated with a heart, inquisitively, Scully opened it and found a happy baby face smiling at her. It was a cute baby boy with crystal blue eyes, a thin nose and full lips. His hair was blond with auburn gleams, he looked familiar but no memory was sparked alive. Flicking the second and last page she stared at two smaller pictures showing her and the baby boy together, in one of the pictures she was kissing the boy lovely on his baby cheek, and obviously making the boy giggling. They looked so happy. On the other picture, the boy was a little older and they were both looking into the camera and smiling. Taking one of the pictures out of the album she turned it around but found no name on the back of. But when she looked into the baby's eyes she felt a crushing pain in her heart, and a few new tears dropped from her sore eyes.

For a long time she stared at the pictures but to no avail, she had no remembrance of the baby boy she evidently was very fond of and close to. The familiarity of the baby's face intrigued her, he had the same colour of eyes as she had, and his mouth reminded her of some one… He could be Billy's son...Billy had married Tara a few years before she was assigned to the X-Files. Unwilling to part with the pictures, she reluctantly laid the album on top of the clothes in the bag, the pang in her heart confused her, and she stole a final look at the happy baby.

Strolling back into the living area she decided to do the dishes, it always soothed her to be handling homely activities, or working when she was worn out, and clearing the table she carried the dishes into the kitchen where she found a full operational dishwasher. It made her task easy and in no time she had cleaned the kitchen. Looking at her watch she began to wonder what kept Mulder away, he had been gone for close to two hours now, a small twinge of guilt sneaked in on her. She had behaved harsh and unforgiving, he deserved better after his kind treatment of her, but the anger towards him was still too fresh to be forgotten, totally. It was irrational, he wasn't responsible for her life or lack of life, surely he hadn't forced her to work on the X-Files, but he was all she had to blame and she wasn't ready to calm down.

Turning the light on she went into the bedroom again, digging into the one of the bags she found a pyjamas. Quickly she changed into it and found her toothbrush. After a quick visit to the bathroom she climbed into the bed, and after placing her weapon under her pillow she turned the lamp off. At the exact same time, she heard the front door open and holding her breath she listened to the sounds of a person entering the house.

"Scully?" She heard Mulder call her name but she ignored him and closed her eyes. She kept listening when his footstep came closer, until they stopped in the door opening, "Scully?" he softly called. Again she ignored him, for a time he lingered in the door and she felt his questioning eyes on her face, fighting hard to resist the urge to open her eyes and lock them with his, she slowed her breathing down and finally he left her alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: As pointed out in earlier chapters; Scully and Mulder do not belong to me. I lay no claim on them

Thank you very much for reviewing this little story. I'm overwhelmed that anyone remembered it after such a long time without updates. I'm working on ROLITD again, but I can't promise to update every week. But I'll be updating when I've time.

I know I'm not fluent in English and I apologise for it, I haven't found a beta reader and honestly I don't really have the time to search for one. Hope the grammar mistakes won't destroy the story too much.

Ray Of Lights In The Darkness

Chapter six

Reaching out

The day seemed to have no end and she was emotional worn out, her body was bone tired but sleep wasn't within her reach, and her mind was dealing with all kind of explanations of her recent life. She had absolutely no desire to deal with Mulder at the moment. She lay very still and breathed evenly, positive her faked sleep was convincing to untrained eyes as she heard him move around and securing the house for the night, suddenly, realising he would want to sleep as well, she considered the options, they were very limited. The living room didn't have a couch or a beautiful polished wooden floor he could sleep on, it surely didn't leave many sleeping arrangements available, and the kitchen was out of the question, of course. That left them with only one bedroom with a double bed and another rough, hard wooden floor.

Before she could come up with a solution Mulder re-entered the bed room quietly again, and his eyes burned on her face for lingering moments before he turned and reached into one of the bags. With his back safely against her, Scully quaked her eyes open slightly, and watched him through the small cracks. His hair was tousled and the way he carried his body indicated he was troubled or worn out, probably both.

With empty hands he walked the short distance to the bath room and without turning he closed the door behind him. The muffled sounds coming from behind the closed door told her that he was using a toothbrush from the shared sponge bag. After getting ready for the night he came into the bed room again, this time his inquiring eyes burned her skin and left her breathless, luckily she had managed to close her eyes in time to avoid his. Still mad, she refused to acknowledge how he made her body react with a mere stare, it had to be due to hormones.

When he moved, she re-opened her eyes ever so slightly, he was biting his lower lip in what appeared to be frustration; the situation was hard for him too. He was stuck here as well, with an ungrateful and pregnant woman when he could be at home with his better half. Fighting the small pang of bad conscience, she justified her outburst with the injustice in that he knew why they were here and she didn't. She had no idea what had lead them here, and with his knowledge of the past and the case, he had power where she had none, and it was unfair.

Mulder moved around the bed and out of her sight, when he stopped and stood very still she fought the urge to turn around and see what he was doing, she hated the uncertainty of her situation. The urge was overwhelming, her body was becoming painful from not moving and her back sore from her dreadful positioning in the bed, thank God, he was moving again! Stiffening, she realised he was messing with the blanket and the pillow, she had no desire to share her bed with a strange man, partner or not. The pressure on the bed disappeared, instead of climbing into bed he came around the bed again with pillow and blanket in his hands. Swiftly, she re-closed her eyes.

"Scully, I know you're awake. Your back must be killing you by now, take this pillow between your legs, it will help you to relax."

Ashamed to be caught, she opened her eyes and met his sad ones, "thank you. This can't be easy for you either?"

His eyes flashed with surprise and relief, "no, it isn't. But this isn't about me. It's about you and…your baby."

Extraordinarily touched, she took the pillow from him and followed his instructions without worrying that he saw her pyjamas covered body.

"How do you know these things, Mulder?"

Flashing a quick smile, he said, "from practice."

"You've children?" The pure thought displeased her.

"It's too complex to discuss the family tree now, Scully. Let just say my main responsibilities are right here." He was clearly disturbed by her question.

"You're not mad at me?" He had good reason to be, she thought.

"Scully, I'm not mad at you. You are stressed from your amnesia and handle it impressively well, you had to react at some point and I'm the only one around, so it had to be me you attacked." He gave her an odd half smile. "It must be confusing. On top of that you've to handle a pregnancy you don't know if you wanted or not."

"I want my baby, that's all I'm sure of now."

For a moment he closed his eyes in relief, "you do?" he whispered.

Smiling, she stressed her answer, "_I'm sure_. This baby is loved, at least by me."

Watching his shoulders relax like a burden had been lifted from them she felt utterly happy, Mulder was sweet when he was free of the guarded shelter around him. "Where are you planning to sleep?" She looked at the blanket in his hands.

"In the chair in the living room, it will give you space to get a good night's rest, and you know, for years I slept on a couch so a chair can't be that awful." He was trying to lighten the air around them.

Reflecting upon their situation and the sacrifices Mulder plainly made to help her, she felt selfish for occupying a big bed all by herself, he had proven to be trustworthy so far and taking a fast decision, she stated. "Don't! There is plenty of room for us both here. You're welcome to sleep in the bed. You need your rest too, I doubt you slept at the hospital."

"No, I didn't. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, shut up and jump in before I change my mind, Mulder." She yawned.

With Mulder in the bed her body relaxed and she was able to sleep.

Rays of warm sunshine fell across her face and the bright light annoyed her eyes behind the closed eyelids, but yet she wasn't ready to open them, still heavy from sleep she squeezed them tighter and moved her head to avoid the warmth. Her head was moveable, unlike the rest of her body which was held back by something unfamiliar, tensing she tried to move her toes, they responded well, and her legs were cooperating just as well, but from above her legs her body was held tightly. Panic stroke hard, sensing it wasn't the first time she was held against her will, a picture of a woman lying on a wooden plank bed in a white nightgown flashed in her mind's eye. _God, she felt so helpless! So weak! Daring to examine the woman, she saw it was herself. She was lying on the plank bed, held against her will by someone or something she couldn't see. Her body was heavy like one of the Goddess statues which tribute fertility, her body glowed with motherhood and tears of awe filled her closed eyes. The image filled her with remorse, regret and deep sorrow she had lost a vital part of her on that plank table, she was sure of that_.

The images vanished as fast as they had come to life, leaving her to wonder if it was a memory or just a fantasy, a remnant of a nightmare maybe. The pressure she felt on her side wasn't a fantasy and resolute she opened her eyes to see what kept her captured from loin and up. The sense of discomfort had left her and was replaced by an odd feeling of comfort and security, looking down she saw an arm encircling her from behind. Long fingers rested peacefully on her swollen abdomen. Sometime during the night they had sneaked under her pyjamas top. His hand looked well accustomed to the shape of her body.

Feeling that her personal space had been violated she jumped to her feet, a wave of dizziness washed in over her and to support her body, she touched the wall with one hand while she yelled, "Mulder!"

His eyes flew open instantly, worry with a flick of fear replaced the peaceful look on his face, and in a second he was on his legs and on his way around the bed moving in her direction.

"Scully, are you okay? Is it the baby?" Meeting her angry eyes he stopped in his tracks and his eyes widened in remembrance, swiftly, he hid behind a blank expression. "Are you okay, Scully?" He asked in a neutral voice.

"I was until I awoke to find you pressed into my body with your hand on my naked skin, what were you thinking, Mulder? I don't think the FBI encourages intimate contact between partners. Neither do I! Where is your t-shirt?"

Her eyes left his to follow the frame of his body, gliding south she took in the leanness and muscularity of his upper body, her own body grew warm from the sight, and unable to control her eyes they glided further south, and she gasped when they made contact with the stiffness behind his pyjamas trousers. Embarrassed her stare returned to his mildly amused eyes.

"I was warm." He explained.

"You were warm?" Completely forgetting her questing she stared coolly at him, but the teasing glint in his eyes made her remember his boldness and she continued, "so you moved closer to me…normally that makes a person warmer, Mulder?"

The teasing glimmer left his eyes quickly and now he looked confused, "huh? No I mean I took off my T-shirt because I felt hot. I held you from old habit."

Lifting her eyebrow she hissed, "old habit?"

"Well…" his mind was spinning with useless explanations. "Well, I'm used to share my bed with someone who likes intimate sleeping arrangements…I guess, I sought your body... in my sleep, I'm sorry."

Seeing the honesty and sadness in him Dana softened, "just don't make it a habit, Mulder. I'm a one man's woman!" She added the last sentence instinctively, wanting him to think good about her.

"I'm glad, very glad, to hear that." Mulder answered quietly, he looked relieved for some reason and it made her happier. The tension left the room as quickly as it had come. Mulder had a natural way of making her feel protected and... loved? Confused Dana stared into his eyes, they were so friendly but strangely guarded. Unable to understand the feelings his stare awoke in her, her eyes travelled to his lips; they looked so inviting, so soft. Her eyes moved down to his bare chest, and her hand started to reach out. Mortified, she withdrew her eyes and covered her mouth with the hand that that been moving on its own will just seconds before. "I'll take a bath. She mumbled and not daring to meet his eyes again, she moved pass Mulder.

After a long soothing bath Dana changed into a blue flower pattern dress, it was tight around her bosom and hang loosely around her abdomen and it ended just above her knees. The dress was pretty and could easily be used for formal occasions but she would never choose it for work, it would make her feel too uncomfortable. Her working clothes were stricter and not so full of colours but she liked this dress, and it could make the heat endurable.

The smell of egg, bacon and toasted bread made her stomach rumble, smiling she lightly caressed her stomach, "hungry sweetie? Your mom is."

In the living room Mulder had set the small table with a healthy breakfast and coffee. Hesitantly, she accepted the warm mug. "It's decaffeinated with milk, just like you want it, Scully."

"How do you know me so well, Mulder?" On one hand Mulder intimidated her with his closeness but on the other hand it intrigued her, and she couldn't deny she was drawn to him. She was as a flue in a spider's net, waiting for him to swallow her with his intensity, only she never feared for her life and never really fought to avoid him.

Hazel looking into crystal blue made Dana smile. "I enjoy knowing these things about you." Mulder smiled back, desperately he wanted to add, ' I like how your eyes light up when I remember the small things you like, and how often I didn't take my time to pamper you in the past and remember those things'

"But why, Mulder? I don't understand. We are work partners not lovers!"

"I don't think there is a big difference between the two, Scully. In many ways we share a greater trust than I've ever shared with any former girlfriends or lovers, as you call them. On so many cases and occasions we've entrusted each other with our lives, we've searched for each other when we were separated and cried in each other's arms. We've shared our weaknesses and strengths without judgement. How often does it get so intense with a lover? And it's not the Stockholm syndrome or anything similar, trust me, I'm a professional in how the mind works."

Giggling, she watched him, "oh my, so you do know my bad temper."

His breath was taken away, she looked just like she had looked when they first met, young, innocent, smiling and laughing a lot. When he looked at her, he saw the young girl he had forced to follow him to Ellen's Air Force Base to investigate the disappearances of Lieutenant Colonel Robert Budahas. It was before she had been taken, before she became serious and fierce.

"Trust me I do, I've been the target one or two times."

"Something tells me you're annoying me a lot, Mulder. You don't like rules or science, do you?"

"I've come to rely on your scientific way of handling information on our cases; I wouldn't be alive if I hadn't."

"Separated, why were we separated, Mulder?" A buzzing from his cell phone turned their attention elsewhere. Hopping from the chair Mulder returned with the phone in hand, his forehead folded in concentration. "Skinner has left an urgent message in town." Watching him closely, she saw the questions and worries playing in his mind.

"I'm fine, Mulder. If you take a shower I'll clean this mess up." Swallowing the last piece of toast, she regretfully watched the bacon on Mulder's plate, sighing she twinkled her eyes at him, "I seem to have an easy pregnancy besides my cravings for unhealthy food. Some doctors mean that the eating habits and cravings for fat is developed inside the mother's womb and in the early childhood, and I tend to agree. But this baby must already have a mind of herself or himself cause I don't remember being this obsessed with high fat products. Of course, I don't know the father…"

Firing an intense stare in Mulder's direction she hoped to will an answer out of him, but to no avail, he ignored her, simply. "It won't hurt me to go to town, the doctor assured me my baby was fine, Mulder." She was rewarded with a relived sigh from her FBI partner.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I guess I would've been rich if I owned anything regarding The X-Files, well my bank account assures me I don't!

Thanks for reviewing – I like to hear what you think of the story. And thanks for letting me know my grammar doesn't suck J

Ray Of Lights In The Darkness

Chapter seven

Rays of memories

In the car Dana watched the passing trees, she had gladly volunteered to be the passenger, not because she was afraid she wouldn't remember how to drive a car, it would be like riding a bike, she knew, but because it gave her time to dig into her mind. She wanted to remember, demanded it, but no matter how much she focused on the task nothing happened.

"Are you ever going tell me who my baby's father is?"

Throwing a side glance in her direction Mulder shrugged, "probably, I see no reason not to. But you know I do agree with doctor Merse not to rush things, Scully. Right now you are my main concern, and honestly, I never had any real experience with a patient suffering from amnesia, but I do know a lot about repressed memories and taken memories. My experience is that every person starts to remember at some point of time, the ideal situation is when it comes slowly and in a secure environment. Not that I really have any experience with the ideal situation either."

"Thanks Mulder, I feel much better now." She sarcastically smiled but added more seriously, "I somehow sense you become a little territorial when it comes to me and my private partner?"

"Well, I'm a territorial guy." He smirked at her.

He was charming in his self absorbing way, and without knowing him well, it was evident to her that Mulder was a person who easily got caught up in a person or a case to a point that would leave him blind to most other issues in the matter. She just wondered if he sometimes forgot her. The pang in her heart convinced her it had happened occasionally, but she also trusted him implicitly, it was confusing.

"So this message has it anything to do with the case we work on?" She broke her revenue down a none existing memory lane.

"It is related to what we worked on when you took the blow to your head. We were on a breaking point, now, I just hope the track hasn't turned cold." The tension in his voice gave away that he was personal involved.

"What is the case about, Mulder. I don't think it will hurt me to know, it might even be fruitful if we are processing with it. I would be a bad partner to you, if I don't have a clue about what we are dealing with. I could even become a danger to you or the case, all logical senses point in the direction that it will jeopardizes our lives, if you don't involve me."

"Nice speech, Scully. But you're right. It involves a small child, a boy, and he is in danger. He and his caretakers are on the run, we don't know if they are safe. The family who has taken the boy in has no experiences in hiding or running, I just hope we helped them to escape, when we were taken out..."

Her stomach ached and her breathing became shallow during his talk, it troubled her when his emotionless voice mentioned the small boy and her mind went all blank. "Do you know the boy?" Dana managed to spit out.

He cast another quick glance in her way, revealing nothing with the dull stare. "We both do, Scully."

"Oh, how old is he?"

"Almost three, I've promised you to find him before his birthday."

Swallowing hard she whispered, "Why?" suddenly afraid of the answer she turned her eyes to the window, they were close town now.

"It just matters to the boy. And you were worried about the damage a long term threat would cause him."

"Who is after him and how is this an X-File, Mulder?" Normally cases involving children wasn't considered paranormal, that was a certainty, she knew.

"The boy is believed to have special abilities, he had as an infant and it's not fully known if the abilities stayed with him or not. A group of people wants the boy to promote its own salvation. We've to find him first. We were on a good lead…"

"Special abilities? How? What?" It made no sense to her.

"Both his parents had close encounters with aliens, they were test persons. They boy's mind was highly developed when he was born, he might've certain psychic powers."

"Abductees! Aliens!" She laughed, "you don't honestly believe in that, Mulder. Do you?" Her amused eyes focused on his face, "you do!" Taken aback, the anger came rushing back and she hissed. "I don't believe this. I'm back to chasing aliens again. Is it a real boy, Mulder, or one of your fantasies? I'm done chasing imaginable things in the dark."

"He is real and I promise you, you want to find this boy, Scully. You need to find him alive and unharmed."

Another heated discussion was cancelled when Mulder parked the car in front of the post office. Following his example Dana stepped out of the car and took his path inside. A few curious stares trailed them when they walked pass the waiting line and Mulder knocked on a door. A husky female voice asked them to come in.

Not one to bypass a chance Mulder opened the door and stepped into the office, less trusting Dana followed with one hand on her weapon, already bothered with the sexy female voice. Looking straight ahead Dana's sight was stopped by a heavy bosom, husky voice had a healthy set of lungs, and looking up Dana briefly met a large pair of deer brown eyes, before the owner turned them to Mulder. Letting her eyes slide up and down husky voice, Dana's hand tightened the grip on the weapon, long legs were connected to the big bosom and long blond hair waved around a pretty young face.

Husky voice was staring intensely at Dana's partner, who didn't seem to mind, and snorting Dana released her deathly grip on the gun, it shouldn't surprise her that her partner wasn't immune to Blondie, it wasn't a federal crime and nothing she could hold again him or Blondie. Most men would turn into drawling fools by the slightest attention from husky voice/ Blondie, she couldn't decide which name fitted best, why would Mulder be different? His girlfriend could be a Blondie!

Squeezing her lips hard together Dana saw Mulder tearing his eyes from Blondie, that name fitted best, she suddenly decided, and changing his focus Mulder smiled to Dana, who rewarded him with a cold, blank stare.

"I guess you're AD Skinner's contact?" Dana snorted.

Flashing a shinning white smile, Blondie's full red painted lips formed the answer, "I'm agent Taylor. AD Skinner told me to deliver a letter to two of his undercover agents. That must be you." Innocent deer eyes caught Mulder's eyes, leaning forward on his feet he swayed towards Blondie, whose smile and eyes grew wider and a hand came to play with a blond strand of hair.

The doll was very magnetic and she couldn't be more than 26, narrowing her eyes Dana studied the scene before her. Blondie was attracted to her partner, no need for trained skills to discover that, annoyed Dana chanced her focus to Mulder. Without turning her head she looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, and surprisingly she was staring right into his eyes. Mulder wasn't looking at Blondie. But when their eyes met, he swiftly looked away. Anger mixed with hurt filled her and she backed away, confused Dana squeezed her eyes tightly, immediately another scene played in her mind's eyes:

_With annoyance she pushed the door wide open, refusing to admit the hurt his wandering caused her, she kept the anger alive. Anger was easier to understand, to explain. It only took her brain a split-second to comprehend the scenery. Detective White was straddling Mulder with her blouse unbuttoned and skirt pulled up, and her face was inches away from, a for once silent, Mulder. Surely, he liked blondes, it shouldn't come as a surprise, after all she had found a movie with the title; 'Play with blondes and have more fun' on his desk one morning, when he had been late, obviously due to a late night at the office._

"Are you all right?"

A muffled voice tried to catch her attention, and blinking rapidly Dana tried to clear her mind and focus on her surroundings, was it a memory that had flashed in her mind or was it just a chemical reaction in her brain? Unwilling to believe, she would be jealous of her partner sharing an intimate moment with his date, girlfriend or colleague Dana licked her lip in shame, the feelings from the film just being played was all to similar to the feelings rushing through her moments ago. She should know better, romance between colleagues was fruitless and leading to nothing good.

A hand tugging at her arm brought her back to the persons in the room; "are you all right?" the male voice was fat with worries, demanded her attention. "I'm fine!" She shook her head to clear her mind. "A letter you said, agent Taylor. Where is it?" Dana's voice cut through the air. 

"Oh, the letter." Blondie dug into her tiny purse, "I was specifically ordered to give it to agent Moore." With a delighted smile, she held the envelope in Mulder's direction, and without moving Mulder reached for the letter with a tense expression on his face. "Thank you, agent Taylor."

"Oh, I nearly forgot. I was assigned to be your contact for as long as you need me. I've gotten a room at the motel."

"Our contact?"

"Yes, AD Skinner thought you could need help with your undercover assignment. He said I would most likely be working more with agent Moore than with you."

The pleasant smile was ill fitted on Blondie's face. "Most likely you will be working equally with both of us, agent Taylor." Dana paused to see Blondie's hopeful smile fading into a frown, "this case is more than a routine case and requires a certain level of experience and insight, neither comes without practise and teamwork. It comes with hard work and a partner you know will back you up, no matter the consequences." Blondie broke the eye contact before Dana's was done with her statement.

"Nice speech" Mulder mumbled under his breath, the amusement shining bright in his eyes.

Intense blue locked with hazel, "I wasn't aware that you could multitask, agent _Moore_" Resting her hands on her lower back Dana turned and paddled away, "I need some fresh air!"

Without waiting for an answer she walked out of the office and into the customer area of the post office, and ultimately out and into the fresh air. The August warmth knocked her over by her first step outside, sucking air in, her body readjusted and letting go of the shallow breath she had sucked in and held for an abnormal long moment. Her shoulders relaxed but without reducing her irritation.

"So how is the fresh air, Scully?" His voice was so low and deep that she sensed how it vibrated in his chest, the resonant sent a warm tingling down her spine and she shivered pleasantly. "_Scully, don't move away – I want to feel your skin, need to." The voice vibrated against her ear and chest. _This voice…His voice! It was Mulder's voice.

Shocked Dana blinked a few time, it had been different this time, there had been no pictures only the voice and feelings, feelings of belonging and…caring? Pushing the bare thought away she looked down at her belly, why was Mulder in all her glimpses of memories? Shouldn't the father of her child be the strongest energy to break through the darkness in her memory?

Looking up through her eyelashes her eyes stopped at his chest, suddenly very sensitive about the muscles underneath his t-shirt her breathing speeded up, the thought of snuggling her head against his heart wasn't foreign or unthinkable anymore. No, it was quiet thinkable and tempting. Utterly confused, Dana pushed the image away and raised her head.

"Fresh compared to the heavy scent of perfume in there."

With twinkling eye, he laughed, "can you survive for a little longer? I kinda promised agent Taylor we would escort her to the motel. It's across the road so it shouldn't take too long" 

Sighing, Dana nodded, "did you read the letter?" One of them should be working, she thought.

Fidgeting with the pockets in his jeans, he spat, "no, not yet."

"Well, then give it to me, Mulder." It was evident that he was emotional attached to this case, maybe she would have be too if she could remember anything about it, but she couldn't. He had talked about a missing boy, a boy it was important to find before the wrong group of people did. Of course, she would be personal touched when she learned the facts about this case, she always was when children were involved, but right now, she was the best person to see objective at the letter and case.

Nodding, Mulder stepped closer to her and started to open the letter, regretting he stopped. "I don't know if you're ready for this, Scully. The doc told us to go slow."

"Mulder, if I go any slower I will die of boredom. Believe me, I can handle a note from our boss, if this is the most dangerous situation I've ever been in, I'm damn lucky!"

With a final glance at her, he opened the letter fully, and together they bowed their heads over the small piece of paper. The words were hasty scratched on it with a red pen, the handwriting neat and easily read. It bore a masculine style she liked.

_Package on the run, without tail. Safe for now. _

_Await coordinates for package and tails, tense situation._

_We have a mole in the rose garden._

_Stay until the flowers arrive._

"I assume we are not really talking about flowers, Mulder?" The sentences were abrupt and pure nonsense to innocent eyes as well as hers. It was getting upsetting to be locked out of her life like this, as an agent, she needed to be ahead of the situation, but all she was right now was as far behind as she could be.

"Huh? No of course not. It's about the boy I told you about." Mulder whispered into her ear, his breath caressed her cheek like a lover's kiss and she shuddered.

"Are you cold, Scully?"

When he lifted his head in concern, she felt a harp pang of loneliness; she had enjoyed his closeness more than appropriate. Before she could answer agent Taylor rolled through the door in her high heeled gold sandals and a trolley on wheels behind her.

"All packed and ready." Another flash of white teeth covered agent Taylor's face.

"How did you get here?" Stepping away from Mulder, Dana looked at the agent's heavy suitcase.

"By cap, I'm supposed to come from Arizona and the drive would've been too long. But it's unhandy with such a big trolley, I would say." Batting her eyes in Mulder's direction, she stressed the word big meaningfully.

"Oh, let me give you a hand miss?" With a huge smile Mulder shed Dana an amused glance, before he accepted the trolley from agent Taylor, briefly their hands touched. And Dana squeezed her lower lip between her teeth and turned away, it was none of her business.

"Miss Taylor, I'm an animal therapist." In a lower voice she added, "AD Skinner thought it would be easier if I kept my own name, to avoid confusion. I agree."

Glad that she had her back to the agents, Dana allowed a smile to break the surface, "an animal therapist you say Miss Taylor, exactly what is that you do?" She backed away to give her female colleague room to unlock the motel door when they had crossed the road.

Stepping inside, agent Taylor threw her blonde hair from side to side in a slow motion, from the corner of her eyes Dana noticed the bemused smile on Mulder's face. It saddened her that she was so sensitive to Mulder's reactions, mostly because they kept hurting her, but also because she felt like a sinner. Somewhere out there was a man who trusted her and loved her, and all she could think of was her partner. The blow to her head was affecting more than her memory, it was confusing her judgement!

"I treat emotionally hurt and confused animals, help them to re-bond to their new owners and trust them. Animals are like humans only more innocent and more sensitive, they are easy to hurt but so trustworthy. Don't you agree agent Moore?"

"Huh – yeah, they are better to hold their tongues than any human being, I've ever met. No animal has yet broken my confidential"

Blondie rewarded Mulder with another innocent stare from brown deer eyes. "I knew you would understand, agent Moore."

"Well, as fascinating as the lives of hurt animals are, I suggest as the human beings we are, without the pure innocent core animals have, that we stop calling each other agents and only use our names. After all humans are far worse at holding their tongues." With both hands on her lower back Dana lowered her body into a chair, her legs easily tired.

"You're absolutely right, Mrs. Moore! " Mulder's eyes followed Dana as she sank into the chair, "it will ruin our covers if someone overhears us talking. Can you do that, Miss Taylor?"

"You're married? Is that your cover?" Blondie sounded awful disappointed.

Giving the girl a genuine smile, Dana answered, "we are married and here on a short vacation. What I can't figure out is how we know you?"

"Maybe you want my advice before buying a dog, AD Skinner wasn't specific, and he said it probably wouldn't matter. This is my first case, AD Skinner really liked that, and I was working with animals before I joined the FBI, in a pet shop."

"Okay, let's get moving, Mrs. Moore."

Relieved Dana got up from the chair; Blondie was acceptable only in small doses. Why they were paired with the agent was beyond her, like most was these days, anyway.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Blondie unzipped her trolley and handed Mulder a small package, "it was important that you got this immediately."


End file.
